Willpower is just another muscle.

Willpower is just another muscle that we need to practice using to make ourselves stronger in every way possible.

Willpower in my personal opinion is the main key to overcoming self sabotage of any sort. Today as we focus more on a health and food aspect. As in; over eating, not eating enough, not training or exercising when we know we should, not drinking enough water. We all have a basic knowingness within ourselves of what we should be doing or not be doing. We all have this knowingness to not eat certain unhealthy foods, or to eat healthy foods. Yes we are able to eat not so healthy foods in moderation however the trick is to practice your will power to ensure you eat in moderation and of course exercise for your health.

Now I don't believe in diets in any way at all. There is no quick fix to "be" healthy or slimmer. I do believe that we should listen to our own bodies and eat what's right for you and what makes you feel healthy inside. At the end of the day we are here for a life long journey so does it not make sense to eat real foods that fuel and nourish our body's to enable our longevity and provide us with energy and health.

So how do  we go from eating processed quick easy foods to only or mainly eating clean heathy foods? By practicing and using our willpower to do what's right for our bodies.



Willpower alike any muscles and alike our mental strength grows tired and weakens when we are tired or when we've had to practice using it to many times. This amazing audiobook below helped me a great deal with practicing will power
The-Science-of-Self-Discipline-Audiobook





Here are 5 Key Point's that help me


1. Get plenty of sleep.  If you've got an IPhone  set your bedtime reminder to get to bed on time. You need a decent amount of sleep so your brain can function properly and think clearly. Its on my days from lack of sleep that I'm more prone to mental weakness and prone to emotionally eating. Also get to bed at a decent time before your tummy starts rumbling again. If my tummy starts rumbling ill have a cup of tea to calm it.

2. Plan your meals for the day. Write down in a journal or diary a plan of your day and times of when you are going to eat. Then set timers in your phone of meal times. I also set my alarm to drink water if I keep forgetting

3. Feed yourself first. Before you make meals for your family, before you go to the shops if shopping, what ever you have to do, eat BEFORE you go so you are mentally ready and prepared. I feed myself before my children. (To some that may seem selfish but my children are old enough to explain that mummy is training for comp and that we don't want a hangry mum lol)  I never go to the shops or out anywhere hungry. I don't want to risk being hungry as when your hungry your brain power will weaken so its harder to remember to practice using willpower

4. Practicing using Willpower. This is just another muscle that gets stronger the more we use it. They discuss this in the above audiobook. That when you have an urge to eat something that you know you shouldn't that isn't in your meal plan just wait 10 minutes. Remind yourself to just wait 10  minutes. And yes you can do this and yes it does work and yes it does help. Demand of yourself to wait just 10 minutes, and that you are not going to die in 10 minutes if you don't eat right now. It works.

5. Be nice to yourself. Be your own best friend. You just need to be strong and be nice to yourself. Tell yourself something like 'good girl' or 'I'm proud of you' or ' I knew you could do it'. Talk to yourself as you would a little child or your own inner child. You have to literally talk yourself through it. Baby steps, one step at a time and winning against yourself one step at a time. The urge does pass and then go and make a healthy option to eat or have your planned meal.

Remember, that learning to use your Willpower is something that you must practice every day. Not just while you are learning but every day for a few months or even years until its a ground in habit that you never have to think about.

If you need more accountability ask friends or family to support you. Ask friends or even a stranger to join with you to exercise together.

Practicing willpower is not a chore. This is something that you are choosing to do. If you are reading this, there is a part of you that wants to be strong willed and craves discipline so as from right now just decide that 'I am dedicated to practicing my willpower every day'.

If you do mess up don't punish yourself. Forgive yourself and move on. Be nice to yourself, love yourself and be your own best friend. Remember that Willpower is something that you choose to practice so choose to love the journey. xx

Meditation is not what you think!

When you have so much going on in your head that you can’t think clearly.

When everything seems so hard and such a challenge, or even feels impossible.

This is when you need to clear your head and control your thoughts. But how?

Next time your mind is so incredibly busy write down all that you have to do. Or even all that you are thinking about or what you want to say to someone.

Work on getting out of the habit of keep thinking about things over and over and over. Practice being aware of your thoughts.
Write down what it is you need to say or do, just so you can stop thinking so much. This is such an easy technique to clear your mind.

Are you one of those that have trouble sleeping when you're laying there thinking instead?
Your bedside table is a handy place to keep a notepad and a pen so you can jot down everything that you need to just to clear your head. Even if a dream awakes you and you lay thinking about it. Jot it down and the way that you feel about it so you stop thinking about it.

It’s a fact the ‘writing crystallizes your thoughts’.

One of the best ways to clear your mind is to meditate.

When was the last time you meditated? Have you tried to meditate?

Now I hear you groaning. It’s not all like the movies crossing legs, thumb and index finger together resting on your crossed knees and humming to yourself. Well it can be that if that’s what you prefer.

Meditating can be done sitting on your lounge, lying in bed, sitting outside or sitting on the beach. Wherever that works for you and you feel comfortable with.

Meditation is not about trying to stop our thoughts and to stop thinking. We are all human after all. All you need to do is focus on counting or focus on your breathing or in this case we are going to focus on relaxing one part of our body at a time. If you lose focus or your mind wanders that is fine, simply start again.
There is no right or wrong way, all you need to do is start and with daily practice of even 5 or 10 minutes a day it does get easier. I promise you. Remember everything at some point starts meditation for the first time and yes it is difficult for everyone.

However, with practice and persistence it does get easier.

This technique should last for approx. 10 minutes and does absolute wonders to the function to your whole day. If you’re pressed for time set you timer to 10 minutes to allow yourself 10 minutes of quality meditation time. This way your not thinking about going over your allocated time limit.

Aim for at least 10 minutes a day. Really what is 10 minutes? For an easy meditation technique try this one. If it helps you too relax also light some candles, turn of the lights and put on some quite music.

Either lay down, if you can trust yourself to not fall asleep; or sit up straight, close your eyes and take 10 deep slow breaths concentrating on your inhaling and exhaling. This first part is the hardest part. Trying to get your mind to relax and let every other thought go. If thoughts come in just open your eyes take a breath then close your eyes to start counting again.

The idea is to stop thinking of everything else around us and to concentrate on our breathing.

When you are feeling completely relaxed working from your toes to your head, first feeling your feet take a deep breath in then while slowly exhaling pushing out any negative energy in your feet.

You may feel a slight tingling as your body is relaxing and the negative energy is being transferred out. Then taking a deep breath in feeling your lower legs exhale and push any negative energy out through your toes.
Now from your knees, take a deep breath in and again push any negative energy out. Continue this all the way to your head including your arms. Feel your whole body completely relaxed.

Now starting from 10 take a deep breath in then exhale feeling your body relax a little more. Work down to 1 feeling your body and mind completely relaxed.

Allow yourself however long you like in the meditated state. Then whenever you are ready begin to awaken yourself. To release your meditation state simple breathing with your counting, count from 10 to 1 feeling yourself awaken a little more each time until you are completely awake on 1 when you open your eyes.

Either use your meditated state to ‘Intentionally Dream’ (which is to feel the feelings and excitement of already obtaining your goals and desires) or/and use for quieting your mind simply for relaxing.

This is a simple but satisfying technique and once you get into a routine of meditation you will soon see that you cant live without it

Are you unworthy of Love?

If you are not getting what you want, you are out of harmony with what you say that you want.

You may say you want love but inside do you think or have thoughts that you don't deserve love or do you feel unworthy?
Do you see love or people in love and feel hatred and jealousy towards them?
I admit that even I used to look at other happy couples with hated. I remember walking my dog on the beach back in my single days and everywhere I looked I would see these couples holding hands and it would seriously piss me off that they were so damn happy and that I wasn’t.
Here I was, a single mum with 4 children and I was really starting to think that no one would want me because I had children and after a string of relationships that didn’t work out I seriously started to question, “what’s wrong with me?” I used to think I had some pretty good qualities and I thought I saw myself as wife material but after a few failed dates, failed relationships and a failed marriage, it all left me wondering that something has to be wrong with me.
Now when I look back I can see it’s because I didn’t know exactly what I wanted in a partner plus I was looking for a certain age and look. Funnily enough I wanted someone with no children at all as my previous partner very openly favoured his child and my children could see this.

So here’s my little story about how I met the man of my dreams, the perfect man for me
So after a few dates and seeing a couple of different guys an acquaintance told me in these exact words “Bridget, you have to stop being so fussy, you find something wrong with them all. Maybe you’ll just have to settle for the next one that comes along” With which I strongly disagreed and told her that I will never settle.
In that moment I just had this knowingness that I will find someone that is perfect for me, that loves my children as his own, that has his head screwed on, knows where he is going in life and treats me like an absolute queen that I deserve! In that moment something just clicked, I just knew that somewhere is the perfect man for me and for my life and when time is right he would come into my life.

Within a couple of days I came across a Louise Hay You Tube clip and learnt of an affirmation 'I am loved and I radiate love’ and I repeatedly thought it too myself the whole day, every day and every time that I thought of it. Within a couple of days I realised that I was being more loving towards my children and giving them way more random hugs than I usually do and that they were so much better behaved and helpful and loving. I then realised I started seeing signs of love and happy couples holding hands. Only now I was genuinely feeling happy for them and smiling to myself. This one affirmation changed everything.

Here’s the trick, don't look for your “ideal” partner, you are only looking for signs of love and suddenly as if by magic you will see love everywhere, such as......
Happy couples walking and kissing. "Feel" and be happy for them and know that now you are able to "see" love that you are so close to the universe to bringing yours to you. Random couple birds flying. Love heart pictures everywhere or heart shape clouds. I saw hearts and Love everywhere once I was open and wanting to see it. Now follow your instincts and your gut feelings. Also take this into consideration:
• Dress everyday like you could meet your future partner, look the part, smell the part. An acquaintance would tell me he wants love and is sick of being lonely while we went out for breakfast yet he sits with us which he looks unshaven for near on 2 weeks and visually looks and comes across unimpressed at life. Plus wearing scruffy clothes! How is that going to find you the partner of your dreams?
• Be the person you want to attract. Would you look twice at someone who walks out of house not brushing their hair and dressed all scruffy? No you wouldn't would you, dress to impress at the same level that you would expect of your ideal or potential partner.

Now here’s my favourite part to the story
Literally only 2 weeks after that conversation with my apparent friend telling me I should settle and only 2 weeks of repeating over and over to myself “ I am loved and radiate love” I had this random thought one night. I had this thought to jump into Tinder a dating site which my first thought was 'hell no'. Luckily I was quick to realise to follow the inspired thought. I have to admit it was the next night I signed up as the idea initially terrified me.
So very bravely I signed up and I wrote down exactly what I wanted and exactly who I am and I put down emojis for everything that I could think of. I figured that in real life I’m cheeky and playful in general so why not put that honesty in emoji form on my Tinder profile, and that’s what I did. I emoji’d that I have kids, that I’m a career business woman, that I run, lift weights and I even put on that I am looking for , emoji wedding chapel. Yes I did (emoji laugh cry face here). I figured this Tinder profile will make 99% of men run for their life but the one man I’m looking for will love it.

Literally the next day I had a Superlike and we were chatting by that night- online texting that evening. So in conversation we were chatting about what we were up to the next day and it turned out that we were both going to gym in my the morning. And naturally you ask, ‘ohh what gym do you go too?’ It turned out that we went to the exact same gym! Yes the exact same gym, and we had been going to the exact same gym for over a year and we had never bumped into each other as I went at approx. 5am -6 am and he would arrive for around 6 am as I was leaving. It also turned out that we always went to the same café, walked our dogs in the same area on the foreshore but we had never bumped into each other.
So anyhow we arranged to say hi at the gym that very next morning, ended up having coffee that day.
Within a month we were pretty much living together full time, at two months we got a new house together to start fresh. All from following my inner feeling/thought to try Tinder, which I thought was just a hook up site- it turns out not always lol

What I find amusing is that this guy was nothing that I was looking for and the hilarious part, considering I was looking for someone with no children, he actually came with 5 children. So here we are, now two years on with a lovely big blended family of 9 children, which I must add get on famously. Its funny how the universe works. I can honestly say that he is my best friend. I never thought I would find someone who is so compatible, I didn’t even think that what we have was even possible. So have trust that what you need, not what you want, will find you at the right time, once you learn to love ‘love’ and to trust your instincts and those inner feelings or ideas.

Also something else I feel I need to add in here. I have everything I want in a partner. And I believe that you too, by using this basic affirmation can find also find love, actually that was the easy part, however now that I have everything that I wanted I find myself sometimes self-sabotaging which is caused from inner feelings of not feeling like I deserve all that I have.

Please be aware of your self-sabotaging efforts. Luckily for me my partner can see and is aware of when I self-sabotage and is so incredibly patient with me. So remind yourself daily that you are deserving
I guess relationships and worthiness are similar to the shower quote of “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily”. So in this same instance, once you have your amazing relationship please remember to find daily gratitude and work on your worthiness so you keep your happiness.
Work on your worthiness daily.
You are worthy and you are deserving

So to summarise, repeat daily and all day to yourself;
“I am loved and radiate love” and “ I love and approve of myself”

Ohh and take him on date nights as well, show your man how much you appreciate him, men love to feel appreciated 😊

This is your life.

We may not know each other, but know that I truly want the best for you and I truly want you to know your worth and know that you really do matter. So lets begin the next stage of your journey.

Trust that we experience things for a reason and it is up to us to work out the learning’s from that experience. If you do like the experience then grow with it. If you don’t like it then it’s up to you to change and create a new experience. Whichever path you decide to take it is totally up to you. It’s your choice and nobody else’s. Create the life that you desire, no matter how big or how small just remember that you control your life so create and build a life that you love.
When it comes down to it nobody at all has the right to tell you can’t do something or to make you feel that you can’t do something. It is your right as a human being to make your own choices. Make your own choices! You choose what you want to do. Do what makes you feel fantastic. Follow your own heart, your own dream, not somebody else’s. Make your own choices in life or you will never be happy. You will never be truly happy doing what somebody else wants to do or doing what they want you to do. You are here on this earth for a reason. Do not waste your time on NOT taking chances because you’re too scared to upset someone or too scared to disappoint loved ones because when it comes down to it you will be the one left with the eternal disappointment of not following your heart and of not following your dreams. Follow your own heart. If they truly love and respect you they will allow you to grow and then support you or offer help. If not then unfortunately you have a choice to make. Either man up or woman up as the expression goes, and politely put your foot down that you’re following your passion, that it’s now your time and that they can either support you or move on.
The thing is, is that others will forget your dreams but you will never forget and you will live the rest of your life in regret. Take control NOW. Take action NOW. This is your life to live. As I said if they truly love you they will support you, and once again remember that everything happens for a reason

This is your life; love your life and everyday within it. Choose to be happy NOW because you deserve too. It doesn’t matter what you have been told in the past or the made up stories that you have convinced yourself of that you don’t deserve to be happy. These are all not true. You do deserve all the happiness in the world. Feel the love round you. Feel the joy around you. Feel the love for yourself. This is your life. Take control of your life, live life to the fullest. Take action from everyday starting now to live out your dreams. You deserve to be happy! Choose to be happy NOW!
This is dedicated to you with love, because my friend, you are loved and you are here for a bigger reason than you can see and you are destined to live an amazing and exciting life.

So, as the saying goes ‘ you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink”. Now that one is up you

With love.
Bx